Should she spend time in the bridal suite or get ready with her son?
By
Nicole is a freelance writer for MarthaStewart.com.
Published on December 5, 2018
The bride typically spends her wedding morning with her bridal party and her closest female relatives. Naturally, that includes her own mother, but should her future mother-in-law be part of this group, too? The answer depends on a few factors, including your relationship, how much space you'll have, and whether or not she'll be having her hair and makeup done. If you're trying to figure out where your mother-in-law should join you in the bridal suite, consider the three most common places the groom's mom spends the hours leading up to the wedding, then determine which option makes the most sense for you.
She can spend the morning with the bride.
Regardless of your current relationship with your future mother-in-law, she'll inevitably become a major part of your life after the wedding. Inviting her to get ready together encourages bonding and makes her feel included in the celebration. Plus, your future mother-in-law may want to use your hairstylist and makeup artist. If that's the case, she should definitely be invited to join you pre-ceremony, and you should talk with your vendors about scheduling her in. If she doesn't know your mom well, this could be a good bonding experience for them.
She can spend the morning with the groom.
Traditionally, the groom's mother stays with her son on the morning of the wedding, and there's nothing wrong with maintaining the custom. She may feel more comfortable being surrounded by her own family members, and she'll certainly want to be there for photos with her son anyway. That's why you shouldn't be offended if your future mother-in-law expresses interest in spending the day with her child rather than joining you in the bridal suite. Alternatively, if you're the one who would feel more comfortable getting ready with your own family, you can offer this idea up as a solution.
She can spend a little time with both the bride and groom.
Some women choose to spend part of the morning with their son and part with their future daughter-in-law. If that's the case, she may want to start her morning with the bride and her group, then leave once she has her hair and makeup done. After, she can head to the groom's getting-ready area to help him prepare for his walk down the aisle.
Plus, what to do if you two have a tough relationship.
Do you have a tense relationship with your future mother-in-law? Then think carefully about whether or not you'll invite her to join you while you get ready. It's true that spending time together on the morning of the wedding may serve as a bonding experience, but it can also spur unwarranted stress or even an argument. It's perfectly fine to spend the morning with your own mother and best friends, and if your future mother-in-law falsely assumes she'll get ready with you, ask your husband-to-be to step in. At the end of the day, you need to do what's best for you and your relationship.
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FAQs
Where Should the Groom's Mother Get Ready for the Wedding? ›
Traditionally, the groom's mother stays with her son on the morning of the wedding, and there's nothing wrong with maintaining the custom. She may feel more comfortable being surrounded by her own family members, and she'll certainly want to be there for photos with her son anyway.
Does the mother of the groom have to get ready with the bride? ›That is completely up to you, who you want with you when you get ready. Most brides have their bridesmaids and mum. Some also have friends, or grandma, and mother of the groom too.
What does the mother of the groom do before the wedding? ›Traditionally, the groom's mother will take care of the rehearsal dinner arrangements and help prepare the guest list for the groom's side of the family. Both tasks should be done with both the bride and the groom's input. Any other responsibilities can be negotiated among the families.
Does the mother of the groom walk down the aisle with the groom? ›The Groom: The groom proceeds to walk down the aisle accompanied by their parents, with his father on the left and his mother on the right. The Bridesmaids: The bridesmaids then proceed in pairs, starting with those standing farthest from the bride. The Maid or Matron of Honor: The bride's right-hand woman walks alone.
Who pays for mother of groom hair and makeup? ›Who Pays for the Mother-of-the-Bride and Groom's Beauty Team? As with most beauty questions, there is no hard-and-fast rule. Some brides may offer to cover hair and makeup services in order to thank the wedding party for being a part of their special day.
What is customary for the mother of the groom? ›On your actual wedding day, one of the major responsibilities the mother of the groom can take on is making sure that the people at the wedding they know (family and friends) are taking their seats at the ceremony on time, are all set with transportation to and from the venue, and don't get lost—especially if you're ...
What color does the groom's mom wear? ›The Best Colors for a Mother of the Groom
"Wear a flattering color that compliments the color palette of the wedding," advises Valiente. For example, jewel tones and earthy hues are perfect for fall nuptials, while formal gowns in navy or silver would be ideal for black-tie weddings.
While this speech has traditionally been given at rehearsal dinners, it's not unusual for the mother of the groom to speak at the wedding reception, either. If you're struggling to put words on paper to express the joy, happiness, and love you have for your son, you're not alone.
What should a mother say to her son on his wedding day? ›Tell him you love him
If you find a few moments alone with your son on the big day, express how proud you are of him; how thrilled you are that he found someone special to share his life with; and how much you love him.
Traditionally, the groom's mother stays with her son on the morning of the wedding, and there's nothing wrong with maintaining the custom. She may feel more comfortable being surrounded by her own family members, and she'll certainly want to be there for photos with her son anyway.
Which mother walks down the aisle first? ›
From walking down the aisle first to last, the traditional order is: Mother of Bride, Mother of Groom, Grandparents of Bride, Grandparents of Groom, Groom, Officiant, the Wedding Party, Maid of Honor and Best Man, Ring Bearer, Flower Girl and lastly the Bride and her Father.
Who brings the mother of the groom down the aisle? ›As the wedding begins, the groom's mother will be escorted down the aisle, to the first pew, right-hand side, by the head usher or a groomsman who is a family member. A nice touch includes the groom escorting his mother down the aisle. As the groom's mother is escorted to her seat, her husband will follow along behind.
How much money do the groom's parents give? ›Splitting wedding costs equally between the couple and their families is becoming more common across the board: The Knot 2021 Real Weddings Study found that couples pay approximately 49% of their wedding costs, with their families covering the rest at 51%.
What is traditionally paid for by the groom's family? ›What Does the Groom's Family Pay For, Traditionally? The groom's family is responsible for corsages and boutonnieres for immediate members of both families, the lodging of the groom's attendants (if you have offered to help pay for this expense), and sometimes the costs of the rehearsal dinner.
What does the mother of the groom pay for in a wedding? ›Sometimes the groom's parents pay for the officiant fees, the marriage license, the bride's bouquet, boutonnieres and corsages for immediate family members, the liquor, entertainment, and sometimes even the honeymoon!
What is the mother son tradition at a wedding? ›The mother-son dance is a popular tradition for the groom during wedding reception celebrations. The groom will take his mother out on the dance floor for a special dance together for this tradition. It is a time for the groom to focus on his mother and create a special moment together one-on-one.
What does the mother of the groom say at the rehearsal dinner? ›The mother of the groom can give a speech or just a toast at the rehearsal dinner, as she is one of the hosts of the event. There are some details that a speech should include, such as special memories, stories about the couple, and of course, the toast.
Do groom's parents give gifts at rehearsal dinner? ›The only gifts the wedding couple typically give out at a rehearsal dinner are to members of the wedding party (and perhaps the parents) to thank them for their support. If you are looking for some ideas, be sure to review our collection of unique gifts for the wedding party.
Does mother of groom go wedding dress shopping? ›So do you have to invite her along on your wedding dress search? The choice is really up to you. If you'd rather share this time with just your mom and, say, your sister, then do it. You can have a private moment with your fiancé's mom at the wedding if you want, before the ceremony begins.
Does the mother of the groom give the bride a shower? ›The Mother of the Groom Can Co-Host the Bridal Shower
If the mother of the groom is very close with the bride, then she may feel as though it's her duty to pitch in, too. If your mom, sister, or friends are on board with the idea of a co-host, then this is an entirely acceptable route.
Do mother of bride and mother of groom wear different colors? ›
Unless the bride asks both Mothers to wear the same color, make sure you avoid wearing the same color on the occasion. The mother of the bride and the mother of the groom's outfits must complement each other, especially for photos. Another thing that you need to remember is the formality of the dress.
What is the attire for a rehearsal dinner? ›"For formal rehearsal dinners (not black tie), men should wear dark suits and ties, and women should wear cocktail dresses or long gowns. For semi-formal rehearsal dinners, men should wear jackets, suit pants (or slacks) and ties, and women should wear cocktail dresses or pantsuits or dressy skirts and blouses.
Who gives a speech at rehearsal dinner? ›The host of the rehearsal dinner (traditionally the father of the groom in a heterosexual couple) gives the first speech. This person is followed by members of the wedding party that won't be speaking at the reception (typically anyone other than the maid of honor and the best man).
Do groom's parents speak at the wedding? ›Traditionally, there's a father of the groom speech, as well. You'll want to keep your toast short and sweet, but be sure to tell your son how much you love them, address their new spouse, thank everyone for coming to the wedding, and offer some parting wisdom or advice for the newlyweds.
Does mother of the groom wear a corsage? ›Tradition calls for corsages to be given to mothers of the bride and groom. For a different approach, pin a flower in her hair or give her a small nosegay to carry. While lilies and roses are classics, incorporating each mother's favorite flower or one that complements her ensemble is a thoughtful gesture.
How do you start a wedding speech for your son? ›A Father of the Groom Speech Template
Traditional: Welcome! My name is [name] and I'm [son's name]'s father. I'd like to start by welcoming each and every one of you, and to say thank you for sharing in this most special day.
Father of the Groom
Grooms who are close with their dads will likely want them present as they prep for the big day. Your dad can be invited to participate in any pre-wedding activities, as well as the actual dressing and final preparations.
A Groomsman
This is the traditional choice and gives the guy another few moments in the spotlight. If the bride has a stepmother, she would be escorted to her seat by a groomsman before the mother of the bride; the bride's mom should be the last person to be escorted down the aisle, just before the bridal party.
In the most traditional Christian, heterosexual weddings, the bride's parents sit in the first row on the left side of the aisle, while the groom's parents will fill in the first row on the right side.
Does music play when the mother of the bride walks down the aisle? ›Who Walks Down the Aisle to Music? Processional music should be playing when any VIPs, including the officiant, grandparents, parents, wedding party members and the couple, are walking down the aisle.
Who gives a speech at the wedding? ›
Who gives a toast at a wedding? Your parents/parent figures, wedding party members, best friends, or close relatives are generally the ones who give speeches or readings throughout your wedding celebration, but ultimately, you can ask whoever you want if it will mean something to you.
Who buys the mother of the groom gift? ›Who Buys the Mother of the Groom Gift? Typically, a groom will buy their mum a gift, but it's also a lovely gesture if their partner buys a gift for their future mother-in-law, too. This will show how much you both appreciate the mother of the groom and all the help and support she has given with wedding planning.
Does the mother of the groom get ready with the bridesmaids? ›There is no written rule on this. Most Mothers of the groom get ready with their family whether it be their husband or partner, her other children if they are not in the bridal party. Sometimes they will get ready at the same place as the groom or get ready at home then go where the groom is once they are ready.
Does the groom's family pay for the alcohol? ›The groom's family traditionally paid for all costs associated with the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon, wedding day transportation, and the officiant. The groom paid for the bride's engagement ring, wedding ring, and groomsmen gifts. It is also common for the groom's family to pay for the alcohol at the reception.
Do the groom's parents pay for the honeymoon? ›Today many modern couples save up for their honeymoon together or ask wedding guests to pay for certain parts as a gift. But traditionally it is the groom or his family's job to pay the full cost of the honeymoon from flights to hotels to excursions.
Who pays for rehearsal dinner? ›Both the groom's parents traditionally organize (and pay for) the rehearsal dinner. This can range in size from a small occasion for members of the wedding party only to a grand soiree (never to outdo the wedding, of course) that includes half or more of the wedding guests.
Does the mother of the groom give a gift to the bride? ›Does the mother of the groom give the bride a gift? The mother of the groom traditionally brings a small gift to the bridal shower. When it comes to the wedding itself, the mother of the groom can give the bride a more sentimental gift, like a family heirloom, to officially welcome her into the family.
What does the best man pay for? ›Traditionally, the best man purchases a gift from the couple's wedding registry or gives cash. However, if the best man would prefer to give a more creative or sentimental gift that' s not on the registry that he feels the couple would love, that's okay, too.
Who pays for the wedding dress? ›Dresses and Suits
The bride and groom are responsible for paying for what they will wear on the wedding day. Oftentimes the bride's mom will help pay for her dress and accessories. The groom should handle any costs associated with their suit.
Traditionally, he walks down the aisle solo but some grooms prefer walking down the aisle escorted by both parents. Other grooms prefer a more subtle approach by entering the ceremony from the side of the venue (following the officiant and followed by the groomsmen) to take his place at the altar.
Do I give my son a wedding gift? ›
You don't need an extravagant gift to let your son know you'll always be there for him. Really, all it takes is a heartfelt exchange of words or a handwritten note. That said, if you do want to take it a little bit further, this small, personalized token is a thoughtful gesture.
Does the mother of the groom get ready with the bride and bridesmaids? ›She should arrive for the wedding already dressed. Dressing of the bride is with her mother and some brides include the bridesmaids.
Who walks in first the mother of the bride or the mother of the groom? ›The groom's parents precede the bride's mother during the processional. Here's a rundown: After the ushers have seated all of the guests, the grandparents start up the aisle, followed by the groom's parents. Then the bride's mother takes her turn. She is the last to be seated before the bridal party procession begins.
Is the mother of the bride more important than the mother of the groom? ›Traditionally speaking, though, the bride's family pays for the bulk of the wedding—venue, reception, photographer, flowers, etc. As such, the mother of the bride is typically more 'in charge' of these things (along with the bride, of course) than the mother of the groom is.
Does the mother of the groom have a shower for the bride? ›Traditionally, it has been considered poor form for family members of either the bride or the groom to host a bridal shower. As one mother of the bride friend points out, it is essentially asking for gifts.
Does the mother of the groom give the bride a gift? ›Does the mother of the groom give the bride a gift? The mother of the groom traditionally brings a small gift to the bridal shower. When it comes to the wedding itself, the mother of the groom can give the bride a more sentimental gift, like a family heirloom, to officially welcome her into the family.
Does the groom dance with his mom at the wedding? ›The mother-son dance is a popular tradition for the groom during wedding reception celebrations. The groom will take his mother out on the dance floor for a special dance together for this tradition. It is a time for the groom to focus on his mother and create a special moment together one-on-one.
Whose mother is seated first at a wedding? ›Seating married parents
The parents of the bride always sit in the first pew or row on the left, facing where the ceremony will be held; the groom's parents sit in the first row on the right.
The Best Colors for a Mother of the Groom
"Wear a flattering color that compliments the color palette of the wedding," advises Valiente. For example, jewel tones and earthy hues are perfect for fall nuptials, while formal gowns in navy or silver would be ideal for black-tie weddings.
Splitting wedding costs equally between the couple and their families is becoming more common across the board: The Knot 2021 Real Weddings Study found that couples pay approximately 49% of their wedding costs, with their families covering the rest at 51%.
Does the mother of the groom give a speech? ›
While this speech has traditionally been given at rehearsal dinners, it's not unusual for the mother of the groom to speak at the wedding reception, either. If you're struggling to put words on paper to express the joy, happiness, and love you have for your son, you're not alone.