As you embark on the journey toward wedded bliss, one of the first celebratory pit stops on your adventure will be an engagement party. It’s not just a soiree — it’s a joyous occasion where family and friends come together to toast your impending nuptials. Planning an engagement party is a chance to revel in your love story and set the tone for the wedding festivities ahead. But to ensure your celebration runs smoothly, it’s crucial to navigate the waters of engagement party etiquette with finesse.
This guide is your golden ticket to throwing a bash that not only radiates joy but does so in a way that leaves everyone smiling. So buckle up for a ride through everything you need to know about engagement party etiquette, because the journey to “I do” starts here!
Hosting and Invitations
Do plan your engagement party soon after getting engaged
Getting engaged may feel like a whirlwind. To keep the excitement going, prioritize your engagement party soon after the question is popped. As for timing, you’ll want to give your nearest and dearest enough time to clear their schedules, but not so much that the excitement wanes. Try to schedule a celebration shindig one to two months after you say “yes.” That way, you leave plenty of time for other pre-wedding events as well as the big day itself.
Don’t choose a date that conflicts with major holidays
Now, we’re not saying you can’t host a holiday-themed engagement party — that could be epic! But it’s all about timing. Holidays are often reserved for family traditions and celebrations. Don’t put your loved ones in a sticky situation where they have to choose between your party and their beloved holiday plans. Follow good engagement party etiquette and aim for a date that’s free of all the holiday hustle. If you got engaged in December, consider January after the New Year’s buzz or mid-February when Cupid’s got his arrows ready. That way, you ensure that more of your friends and family members can join the celebration without feeling torn between festive obligations.
Do decide who will host your engagement party
In traditional engagement party etiquette, the engaged couple’s parents take the lead. It’s their chance to shine and to throw a bash that celebrates not only your love but also the union of your families. If both sets of parents are itching to pop a bottle of Champagne in your honor, consider having multiple parties. That being said, it’s the 21st century, and traditions are more like guidelines, not strict etiquette rules. It’s absolutely okay to take the reins and host your own shindig. If you and your partner are the captains of your party-planning ship, go for it! Your love story, your rules.
Don’t forget to send engagement party invitations
While classic paper invites are always charming, there are lots of options when it comes to extending engagement party invitations. You won’t be breaching any engagement party etiquette by sending out e-vites that are as snazzy as your dance moves. Going digital is quick, eco-friendly and saves you from paper cuts — a win-win-win! Pro tip: Set up an online RSVP. It’s like having a personal assistant for your party, minus the coffee runs. Joy has a great tool for you to keep track of who’s attending your celebration.
Do invite those who you know will be on your wedding guest list
This is one of the most basic rules of engagement party etiquette. Remember that anyone who receives an invite to this pre-wedding party should also be on your wedding guest list.
Planning Your Engagement Party
Do choose a venue that matches your how formal the party will be
If you’re thinking black tie, consider a sleek restaurant or a classy country club. If laid back vibes are more your thing, a backyard may be the perfect place to host a chill co*cktail party. One thing to keep in mind as you are planning is that your engagement party venue shouldn’t outshine the wedding day extravaganza. Your engagement party should be like the opening act, not the headliner. Whether it’s a posh venue or a chill backyard, make sure it feels like you — because this party is all about celebrating your love story.
Don’t leave the logistics until last-minute
Wedding planning isn’t the only thing you want to start early. Since engagement parties typically have a tight turnaround time, it’s imperative you start sorting out the details as soon as possible. Narrow down your list of engagement party ideas and finalize the menu, decor and entertainment well before the invitations go out.
Do choose an outfit
Special outfits befitting a newly engaged couple are a must. First things first — it’s not a wedding, so the all-white rule does not apply when it comes to engagement party etiquette. While some couples opt for casual chic, others go all out with a dress-to-impress vibe. You’ll want to pick something that makes you feel as amazing as your love story!
Don’t forget to communicate attire to guests
As you are crafting the perfect outfit, don’t forget to update your engagement party guests on the dress code. If you are planning a fancy celebration, let your guests know that they need to arrive red carpet ready. Leaning toward a casual daytime event? Suggest that your nearest and dearest come ready to hang outdoors in comfortable footwear and layers.
Do allow time for toasts
As you begin to put together the schedule for your celebration, make sure to build in around 30 minutes or so for toasts. While this isn’t mandatory, engagement party etiquette typically allows for family and close friends of the happy couple to share a few words of wisdom. This is also a good time to give a short speech thanking your guests for coming to support your next phase of life!
Dos and Don’ts of Engagement Party Gifts
Don’t expect to receive gifts
When it comes to engagement party etiquette, don’t expect your guests to bring a mountain of gifts. Some guests might come bearing presents for the happy couple, but many won’t — and that’s absolutely fine. Your friends and family members are there to toast to your love and celebrate you! If someone does bring an engagement gift, resist the temptation to open it at the party. Instead, save the unwrapping for a more private moment. It’s all about keeping the festive vibes high and ensuring no one feels awkward about not bringing a gift.
Do register for gifts
Now, while you definitely shouldn’t expect to receive anything at your engagement party, it’s totally okay to be proactive in creating a wedding gift wish list. Setting up a wedding registry soon after your engagement provides a few options for those who do want to shower you with love at this pre-wedding party. Make sure to include a few affordable, low- to mid-range goodies that won’t break the bank. Choose items like cozy throw blankets for Netflix nights or quirky kitchen gadgets for your culinary adventures. These are perfect gift ideas for anyone wanting to get you something to mark the occasion! Pro tip: Set up your wedding website and registry with Joy to keep all of your most important wedding info all in one place.
Don’t include your registry information on your invitations
Keep your engagement party invitations simple and festive with no mention of your wedding registry. This allows your guests to focus on the festivities without feeling the pressure to get you the perfect gift. Let details about your registry spread by word of mouth or simply include your wedding website on the invitations. This is a low pressure way to pass along registry info without indicating that presents are expected. Plus, sharing your website URL can offer guests a fun sneak peek of what to expect at your ceremony and wedding reception!
Do say thank you
Whether you receive a gift or not, sending a thank you note to your nearest and dearest for attending this milestone celebration is a must. This simple gesture lets your guests know that they mean so much to your love story and are an important part of your lives.
Your wedding registry, your way
From gifts, to cash funds, experiences or charitable causes, add any gift you want, from any online retailer, to your Joy registry.
Engagement Party FAQs
Still have some lingering engagement party etiquette questions? Here are a few final thoughts that will help you craft a great party for you and your guests.
Can I have more than one engagement party?
Yes — with a twist. If more than one person wants to throw an engagement party for you, let them! Just make sure the guest list is different for each party so that your friends don’t feel obligated to attend and/or buy gifts for two separate parties.
Should parents meet for the first time at an engagement party?
While engagement parties are always a joyous affair, introducing the parents should be saved for a more intimate moment. The hustle and bustle of your engagement party won’t allow the two families to get to know each other, especially if one is hosting. And no, that doesn’t mean wait until the rehearsal dinner! Try setting up a small get together for your two families before the festivities.
How big does my engagement party have to be?
There’s no set engagement party etiquette on this, but here is our advice: Keep it small- to medium-sized. You don’t need to include everyone who will be on your wedding guest list. Keep the party intimate and special by inviting your closest friends and family members to raise a glass to your impending nuptials.
What’s the deal with plus-ones?
This isn’t a wedding. If a guest is hoping to bring their current significant other, use your discretion. You don’t want to have people you’ll never see again show up to this intimate celebration. If you get push back from one of your guests, simply explain that you are hoping to keep the party small.
Hannah Huber
Hannah is an adventure obsessed writer living in Brooklyn, New York. In her spare time, you will likely find her planning her next trip, scouring design websites for her next project, or working on her next novel. She has written for Vogue.com, ArchitecturalDigest.com, W Magazine, and Glamour.com, among other publications, specializing in fashion, design, travel, and event planning. You can follow her on Instagram @hannahchuber.
