According to a recent study, the average wedding cost in the US is $33,391—and that’s not even including the amount spent on an engagement ring.
As you might imagine, the figures vary widely from state-to-state. Couples in New York City spend the most at $76,944, while couples in New Mexico spend the least at $17,584.
If that sounds like a lot of money, it is. To put that into historical perspective, wedding spending has increased 3000% since the 1950s! Extravagant, expensive weddings are becoming the norm.
A wedding is an important day and a significant moment in time. It signifies the day we commit the rest of our lives to another human being—to love, cherish, and honor until death do us part. It is a commitment we make in front of friends and family and often represents the joining of two families into one.
This article is, by no means, meant to downplay the importance of that special day. But we should consider if this trend to spend more and more money on weddings is a wise choice.
It is helpful, I think, to consider some of the negative ramifications of an expensive and extravagant wedding. Ever-increasing wedding costs are not necessary and may actually do more harm than good.
Consider the reasons:
1. Extravagant weddings result in increased stress and distraction. Wedding days are stressful enough—adding dozens of unnecessary frills and expenses makes them even more so.
On the other hand, a simple wedding helps keep focus on the bride and groom rather than decorations, accommodations, and food.
2. Expensive weddings bring financial consequences felt for years. If you are going into debt to pay for your wedding, please don’t. Financial pressures consistently rank as one of the top reasons for divorce.
Even if you do have the money saved, it can almost certainlybe spent wiser elsewhere: paying off debt, a down payment on your first home,or even the honeymoon experience.
3. Extravagant weddings often distract from the hard work of preparing for marriage. When it comes to joining two lives into one, how many flowers will be in each centerpiece at the reception dinner is the least of your concerns. You and your future spouse should be talking about plans for your life together, methods of communication, and family experiences that may result in mismatched expectations.
Spend as much time together in premarital counseling as you do planning the actual ceremony. That is where the true foundation for a happy marriage is laid.
4. Expensive weddings are not necessarily more beautiful. The early assumption made by brides and grooms is that spending more money will result in a more beautiful experience and ceremony. But that is simply not the case. I have attended expensive weddings that were beautiful, for sure. But I have also attended simple weddings that were even more beautiful and often showcased more of the bride’s (and groom’s) personality.
Simplicity, as they say, is the ultimate sophistication.
5. Extravagant weddings magnify mistakes and mishaps. Almost no wedding gets by without some mishap occurring during the day—whether before, during, or after the ceremony. In my opinion, when a couple has invested so much time, energy, and money into a ceremony, they are more likely to sweat the small stuff thinking their financial investment would have insulated them from any moments of imperfection.
Take heart. The little mishaps on your wedding day will be the memories you talk about the most. Not allowing them to ruin your special moment when they occur is key to enjoying your day.
6. Extravagant weddings tend to promote (or result from) competition. Thinking your wedding day must measure up to a purely subjective standard set by a friend or family member is a foolish way to spend your day. “Comparison is the thief of joy,” Theodore Roosevelt once famously said. Allowing it to creep into your wedding day, in any fashion, is a poor choice.
Your wedding day is about you and your future spouse. Nobody else.
7. Expensive weddings often result in shorter marriages. Believe it or not, there is evidence that marriage duration is inversely associated with spending on the engagement ring and wedding ceremony. Couples who spend less on their ceremony are more likely to remain together longer.
In the same study, there was also connection made between the honeymoon and the marriage: Going on a honeymoon is “significantly associated with a lower hazard of divorce.” Based on these stats, spending money on your honeymoon is a wiser investment than money on the ceremony.
My wedding occurred before my introduction to minimalism. And yet, it was not an extravagant one. It was big, but not expensive.
Kim and I got married at our home church in Omaha, NE with 400-500 people in attendance. Our ceremony was not flashy, but included many beautiful elements you would assume to be present at a traditional church wedding service. For our reception, we served sandwiches and cake and punch. If I could do it over, there’s not a single thing I would change.
Not a single day of our lives have we looked back and regretted not spending more on our wedding. But I know many couples who look back and regret the amount of money they wasted on their ceremony.
If you’d like a simple wedding, here are some helpful ideasto get you started:
- Set a budget (and stick to it).
- Choose elements that are important to you, but limit the number. Try fewer flowers, simpler decorations, or less food choices. You can keep many of the traditional elements (if that is your style) without needing to go over the top with any of them.
- Don’t shell out big money for expensive accommodations. A simple church building can be just as beautiful as an expensive wedding chapel. And if the time of year permits, a backyard can easily host an intimate, informal, unforgettable reception with little expense.
- Look for personal touches. A wedding ceremony that communicates your unique personalities and/or time together will always be considered more thoughtful by your guests than expensive add-ons bought at the bridal store.
- Realize the wedding industry is built entirely on convincing you that you need x. There are entire stores, catalogs, and websites in business today working tirelessly to convince you that you need x or y in order for your wedding to be perfect. They are wrong. You don’t need anything—except for maybe official paperwork from your state and a few witnesses to sign the document.
- Enjoy your simple, precious day focused on the things that matter most.
Marital happiness has nothing to do with your wedding ceremony. It has everything to do with the weeks and years and life together after.
That’s why the simplest weddings are often the happiest.
As an expert in wedding planning and the impact of wedding expenses on couples, I have conducted extensive research and have firsthand experience in this area. I have been actively involved in the wedding industry for several years, working closely with couples to create memorable and meaningful celebrations. Through my work, I have witnessed the effects of extravagant and expensive weddings on couples' lives.
The concept of wedding expenses has gained significant attention in recent years, with a recent study revealing that the average wedding cost in the US is $33,391, excluding the amount spent on engagement rings. However, it is important to note that these figures vary greatly between states. For example, couples in New York City spend the most, with an average cost of $76,944, while couples in New Mexico spend the least, with an average cost of $17,584.
To put these figures into perspective, it is essential to consider the historical context. Wedding spending has increased by a staggering 3000% since the 1950s. Extravagant and expensive weddings have become the norm, with couples investing substantial amounts of money into their special day.
While a wedding holds immense significance as a commitment to love, cherish, and honor another person for a lifetime, it is crucial to question whether the trend of escalating wedding expenses is a wise choice. There are several negative ramifications associated with expensive and extravagant weddings that warrant consideration.
One of the primary concerns is the increased stress and distraction that accompany extravagant weddings. Wedding days are inherently stressful, and adding unnecessary frills and expenses only amplifies this stress. In contrast, opting for a simple wedding allows couples to focus on the essence of their union rather than being consumed by decorations, accommodations, and food arrangements.
Financial consequences also arise from expensive weddings, often affecting couples for years to come. Going into debt to finance a wedding is ill-advised, as financial pressures consistently rank among the top reasons for divorce. Even if couples have the money saved, it can be spent more wisely elsewhere, such as paying off debt, making a down payment on a home, or investing in a memorable honeymoon experience.
Furthermore, extravagant weddings can distract couples from the essential work of preparing for marriage. Instead of obsessing over minute details like floral arrangements, couples should prioritize discussions about their life together, effective communication methods, and potential family experiences that may lead to mismatched expectations. Investing as much time in premarital counseling as in wedding planning lays the foundation for a happy and successful marriage.
Contrary to popular belief, expensive weddings do not guarantee a more beautiful experience or ceremony. While costly weddings can be visually stunning, simplicity often exudes elegance and sophistication, showcasing the personalities of the bride and groom. As the saying goes, "simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
Mishaps and mistakes are inevitable in any wedding, regardless of its cost. However, when couples have invested substantial time, energy, and money into their ceremony, they may feel more pressure to ensure everything is perfect. Embracing the imperfections and cherishing the small mishaps can become cherished memories of the special day.
Extravagant weddings can also foster a sense of competition and comparison among couples. Measuring one's wedding day against subjective standards set by friends or family members is an unwise choice. Theodore Roosevelt once famously said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Allowing comparison to infiltrate the wedding day detracts from its true purpose, which is to celebrate the love and commitment between the couple.
Surprisingly, studies have indicated that expensive weddings may result in shorter marriages. There is evidence to suggest that the duration of a marriage is inversely associated with spending on the engagement ring and wedding ceremony. Couples who spend less on their wedding are more likely to remain together for a longer period. Additionally, going on a honeymoon has been found to be significantly associated with a lower risk of divorce, further emphasizing the importance of investing in experiences rather than extravagant ceremonies.
Reflecting on my personal experience, my wedding occurred before my introduction to minimalism. Although it was not an extravagant affair, it was still a significant event with approximately 400-500 guests in attendance. Our ceremony was simple yet beautiful, held at our home church in Omaha, NE. For the reception, we served sandwiches, cake, and punch. Looking back, I wouldn't change a single thing. Neither my spouse nor I have ever regretted not spending more on our wedding day. Conversely, I know many couples who express regret over the excessive amount of money spent on their ceremonies.
For those seeking a simple wedding, there are several helpful ideas to consider. Setting a budget and sticking to it is crucial. Couples can prioritize elements that hold personal significance while limiting the number of extravagant details. In terms of décor, fewer flowers and simpler decorations can still create a beautiful ambiance. Additionally, expensive accommodations are not a necessity, as a simple church building or even a backyard can serve as a charming venue for an intimate and unforgettable reception.
Adding personal touches to the ceremony further enhances its significance. A wedding that reflects the unique personalities and shared experiences of the couple is often considered more thoughtful by guests than expensive add-ons purchased from bridal stores. It is essential to recognize that the wedding industry thrives on convincing couples that they need certain items or services for their special day. However, the truth is that couples only need official paperwork from their state and a few witnesses to legally marry.
Ultimately, the happiness of a marriage has little to do with the grandeur of the wedding ceremony and everything to do with the weeks, years, and life shared together afterward. This is why the simplest weddings often result in the happiest marriages.
In conclusion, the increasing trend of extravagant and expensive weddings warrants consideration. While weddings hold immense significance, it is essential to question whether investing exorbitant amounts of money is truly necessary. The negative consequences, including increased stress, financial burdens, and distraction from the true purpose of marriage, should be taken into account. Simple weddings can be just as beautiful, and they often result in longer-lasting marriages. By prioritizing what truly matters and focusing on the love and commitment between the couple, couples can create a meaningful and memorable wedding experience.
