9 signs you're good in bed, according to experts (2024)

What happens, though, if your previous partners or current partner is shy? How will you know if you've got the memorable moves that will always get your lover in the groove?

Following are some signs that could mean you have what it takes to provide pleasure in the bedroom.

Simply put, you love sex

People may have their own ideas of what good sex is, but, according to Darné, a simple indicator to knowing that you're good in bed can be how much you love sex.

"You are always keeping an eye out for new and different ways to rock your mate's world as well as enhance your own experience," he told Insider. "This may entail reading books, magazine articles, blogs, watching videos, or utilizing toys."

He added, "Simply put, you want to be the best and take pride in being skillful."

Anyone who loves what they are doing is often good at it and, in many cases, sex is no different.

You're open-minded and switch things up

Ricciardi said that switching up the sex positions and never skipping foreplay can also be signs that you're good in bed.

"Many would agree foreplay is one of the best parts — and no one wants to sleep with someone who has a routine," she told Insider.

You're confident in yourself

It's often been said that confidence will take you a long way in life, and, according to Ricciardi, that includes your sex life.

"Having confidence could include your leaving the lights on, going completely nude, or wearing something super sexy," she said. "You take control of the situation. You're vocal. You're enthusiastic. You feel them desiring you!"

Confidence in the bedroom can turn your partner on even more because they know you aren't afraid to display your sexuality when with them.

You know what needs to be done to reach your peak

Darné told Insider that someone who's good in bed does not fully rely on their partner to get them "off."

"A woman who has explored her own body and knows how to bring herself to climax can pretty much guide any man that is not 'naturally instinctive' in the ways of pleasing her," he said. "A sexually proactive woman doesn't simply lay back and leave things up to chance."

Most people don't want an overly passive partner, so it's totally OK to assist in getting to your peak if you know what that requires.

Both of you are equally into it

Having your partner approve of your good lovemaking while in the moment is always a nice indicator that you're good in bed, but Ricciardi said that approval isn't always going to be given vocally.

"You know you're good in bed when you find her leaning or angling her hips into your thrusts during sex. Believe me, it means you're doing it right," she told Insider.

If you've gotten your partner to the point of an almost org*sm, be sure to not change the position. According to Ricciardi, nothing is worse than having something incredible interrupted and needing to build back up again.

The vagin* will expand

According to Ricciardi, good sex will cause a person's vagin* to lengthen or "expand" during penetration.

"This is simply a result of the vagin*l muscles relaxing, which means you're doing it right!," she told Insider. "If you notice her vagin*l muscles relaxing as you thrust into her, good job! Just remember, if you've been at it for a bit, you will start to feel them contract which usually means she's about to have an org*sm — an even better sign."

You aim to please

Though many people's goal during sex is to get pleasure, Darné told Insider that someone who's good in bed often has more interest in doing the pleasing.

"A great lover is always more than willing to give as good as she or he gets. They're always looking to 'one-up' their mate's attempt to please them," he said. "In fact, a good lover is never completely satisfied if he or she knows his mate did not fully enjoy their session."

Having a partner that's more concerned with pleasing you is a turn on for most, so imagine what the results could be if both partners have this mentality.

You are attentive and vocal with your partner

Darné also told Insider that being attentive and vocal during sex is another way to know that you're putting it down correctly.

"Everyone loves to hear the sounds of their partner experiencing pleasure. A good lover pays attention to what causes their partner to moan, breathe heavy, and observes how their body reacts to things they are doing for them, to them, and with them," he said.

He told Insider a good lover isn't "locked in" with a few go-to moves that they use with every partner.

"Given time you can learn what every sigh or body movement means guiding you towards your next move of deciding whether to tease or to please. Communicating desires and fantasies outside of the bedroom is just as important as giving queues inside the bedroom," Darné added.

Keeping an open line of communication and being honest with your partner about what pleases you in the bedroom will help keep things from becoming boring and mundane.

You're hard — maybe even impossible — to forget

"Most of us have experienced at one time or another being involved with someone who was absolutely incredible in bed but we had sense enough to move on for various other reasons," he said.

He added, "However from time to time, we experience flashbacks and memories of experiences we had with them when we're alone or even with a new partner. A great lover is impossible to forget."